How do I stop the dark night of the soul from getting worse?

The most important step is to stop resisting the pain. When you try to push the emotions away or bypass the experience, the symptoms intensify. Acknowledge what is happening and allow yourself to gently observe your emotions rather than fighting them.

Is it normal to feel completely alone when going through the dark night of the soul?

Yes, it is entirely normal. The Dark Night often brings a profound sense of isolation because your soul is giving you alone time or solitude so you can focus on conquering your biggest fears. However, feeling alone does not mean you have to go through the healing process without support.

Can I work during the dark night of the soul?

Many people do continue to work, but it often requires significantly more energy. It is important to practice deep self-compassion, lower your expectations for perfect productivity, and ensure you are carving out quiet time to tend to your emotional healing.

What should I avoid doing during the dark night of the soul?

Avoid making permanent, catastrophic decisions based on the temporary feelings of hopelessness. Try to avoid suppressing your emotions through constant distraction, overworking, or toxic positivity, as these only delay the necessary transformation.

How do I find support for the dark night of the soul?

There are many layers of support available. You can start with accessible tools like guided meditations and AI coaching, attend community healing events, or work one-on-one with a trained practitioner who understands the spiritual depth of what you are experiencing.

How to Get Through the Dark Night of the Soul: A Guide for Those in It Right Now

If you are reading this right now, you are probably exhausted. You have likely tried everything to pull yourself out of this heavy, suffocating feeling, and nothing has worked. I want you to know that I see you, and I am writing this directly to you because I have been in this exact place. When you are searching for how to get through dark night of the soul, it is usually because you feel completely out of options. I went through a period where my own life felt like it was entirely crumbling; my important relationships were falling apart, and the excruciating uncertainty made me feel powerless, helpless, and worthless. I have lived through this profound darkness myself, and I promise you, there is a way through.

First: Stop Trying to Fix It

When we hit a period of intense emotional turmoil, our first instinct is usually to fix it. We try to think our way out, push through the exhaustion, or perform wellness routines to snap back to normal. However, this approach actually prolongs the experience. The Dark Night of the Soul is an ordeal that tests your highest qualities, and it is not a situation you can simply bypass. Your soul is asking you to face your deepest fears head-on.

When you fight the symptoms, you add unnecessary layers of resistance on top of your original suffering. Instead of trying to fix the situation on the surface—which only guarantees that the challenge will keep coming back—you must allow yourself to learn the underlying spiritual lesson. The Dark Night is asking for your pain to be faced and felt.

What the Dark Night Actually Needs From You

A person sitting wrapped in a blanket holding a warm mug, conveying the importance of pausing and being gently present with difficult emotions — Being present with your pain — rather than running from it — is the beginning of the way through.

Acknowledge what is happening

Simply naming what you are experiencing—saying aloud, "This is a Dark Night of the Soul"—can change your entire relationship with it. You are not broken. This profound challenge has happened to countless people before you. It has a specific shape and a purpose, which is to trigger a major leap in your spiritual growth. Once you recognize that this is a meaningful spiritual threshold rather than a permanent failure, you can begin to navigate it with more grace and self-compassion.

Go inside, not around

In our PhoenixBlessing approach, we recognize that your painful emotions are not the enemy. Inside that deep sadness, fear, or anger is a part of your consciousness that has been waiting to be heard. Rather than fighting the grief or the loneliness, the path through is to go inside the feeling. By observing the emotion from a mental distance and then imagining yourself listening to and embracing the younger version of yourself holding that pain, you can truly heal the emotional wound.

Find what is trying to emerge

The Dark Night is not only a death of the old; it is a birth. During this period, you are being asked to release beliefs and perspectives that no longer serve you. It forces you to question your learned ideas of happiness and success so you can discover what you truly want in your heart. The old, fear-based version of you is burning away so that your most authentic identity can finally emerge and flourish.

Let yourself be supported

This is not a solo journey. In every tradition, the person in passage had a guide, and you do not have to figure out how to get through dark night of the soul in isolation. We offer the Sanctuary app for those difficult, middle-of-the-night moments, certified practitioners for deeper healing work, and free monthly events to help you take gentle first steps. Let yourself be supported by those who understand the terrain.

Practical Tools for the Dark Night

The Sanctuary App

When the weight is heaviest, particularly at 2am when there is no one to call, the Sanctuary app is there. It is free to start and features an on-demand library of guided meditations designed for the Observe, Heal, and Rise phases of this exact journey. It includes an AI coaching voice session called the Phoenix Guide, which is a genuine presence ready to help you navigate your emotions whenever you need it.

Singing and sound

During my own Dark Night, the emotional turmoil was so intense that I could not even meditate, which was my usual source of comfort. I found one thing that worked incredibly well: singing. I sang songs that resonated with my sad emotions, and those feelings gradually became less intense. It was a practical way of getting the emotions out of my body simply through my tone of voice, which eventually allowed me to calm down enough to meditate again.

Gratitude as a practice of noticing

This is not about toxic positivity; it is about the gentle practice of noticing. During my hardest time, I was walking outside and noticed a beautiful flower on the sidewalk, and I realized it was sending a refreshing, hopeful energy to me. I started finding gratitude for small things, like an employee at a coffee shop who greeted me with a joyful voice and smiled. Looking for what is giving you energy helps you realize you are supported by everything around you.

A woman walking through a sunlit forest with arms outstretched, open to noticing the beauty and energy available in the natural world around her — Gratitude does not have to be grand — noticing a single beam of light through the trees is enough.

Private sessions with a practitioner

If you are ready for deeper work, a private PhoenixBlessing session can be transformative. Our approach differs from traditional coaching or therapy because it avoids quick surface-level fixes and instead dives deep into identifying the spiritual lessons your challenges are trying to teach you. A practitioner helps you safely face your fears, heal the emotional pain, and retrieve those lessons so the challenge can resolve itself for good.

What You Are Moving Toward

When you are desperately seeking how to get through dark night of the soul, it helps to remember the beautiful destination you are moving toward. You are heading toward the discovery of your Phoenix, a symbol of your authenticity and an awareness of your life's true missions. When I emerged from my own darkness, the moment all the negative emotions disappeared, I experienced extreme happiness and a feeling of pure bliss.

You will eventually transform into the person you were always meant to be. I will not minimize your journey by making this sound easy, because the transformation requires you to face things you have avoided for a long time. However, the harder the challenge, the bigger the transformation.

You Are Not Alone in This

Please know that there is a global community of people who have navigated this same darkness using the PhoenixBlessing system. You are not alone in this. I hold space in free monthly online events where we gather to understand this journey together, and I warmly invite you to join us. We also have a wonderful network of practitioners worldwide who have made this crossing themselves and are ready to hold your hand through the dark.

If you need a gentle place to begin right now, the Sanctuary App is a beautiful first step. It is completely free to start and offers a 24/7 AI coaching companion alongside guided meditations to help you through the hardest moments. You can download it at sanctuary.phoenixblessing.com.

If you would like to experience this healing in a community setting, I invite you to join my free monthly healing event. It is a low-barrier way to come and experience how we work with these emotions. Register at phoenixblessing.com/events.

For those who are ready for deeper, one-on-one support, finding a practitioner who has walked this path can change everything. You can connect with our global network of certified practitioners at phoenixblessing.com/practitioners.